Gordon Brown in a foxhole

The results of the latest poll from YouGov are in. In a fascinating piece of political analysis, we learn that in the face of enemy fire more of us would share a foxhole with Gordon Brown than with David Cameron.

Well, that's that then. Davo might as well go home, little fox-tail between his legs. But before Andy Coulson sends up the white flag from their lonely little ditch, let's take a closer look at this.

First, what do people expect Gordon Brown to do in this situation? To my knowledge he's had no formal military training (and I have googled his name along with 'military training' just to be sure). He certainly seems to have a bit of a temper on him, and he can sulk with the best of them, but, as far as I know, a surly glare doesn't trump a kalashnikov when it comes down to it.

Second, exactly how much room will there be for you in that foxhole?

Third, what about when the shelling stops? What are you going to talk about? Have you brushed up on your fiscal policy in post-war western democracies recently? Thought not. Just like he'd have naff all to say about Liverpool's chances of signing Et'o.

I don't think people think very hard before answering these questions. And nor would I if some earnest woman with too many teeth and a clipboard stopped me in a shopping mall and asked a load of stupid questions about whether I'd prefer to go to war with a monosyllabic Scot with bad teeth or a trumped up Hoorah with a quiff the size of a stepladder.

So, Dave, don't be too disheartened. Your manliness may have taken a knock but these days it's all about your feminine side anyway and there you win hands down. The same poll puts Cameron way ahead in the “agony aunt” stakes: apparantly more people would take a problem to him than Brown.

Let's face it, given a choice of a wet night in the mud being shot at, the electorate is always going to choose a good chat about themselves.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article1942971.ece